Stop being a bad American and give in to the need to make something red, white, blue, and edible this Independence Day.
Remember that one guy who didn't bring anything to your Fourth of July party last year?
How could I forget...
Yeah, the one that ate all the dessert and drank all the beer.
Don't even get me started about the cake balls.
That guy is the worst American I know.
Totally.
Wait, that guy was you.
...
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